Hospitals, death, funerals..and everything associated with it…and my brain goes into freeze mode, I don’t know what to do, how to react and basically I’m not the right person to have around at a time like that.
My family and closest friends know this side of me… and they understand when they see me standing in one corner just by myself. I will try to help (if i’m asked to, which I’m usually not), attend the funeral mass and even go to the graveyard and pay my last respects but beyond that..nothing!
Just a few minutes back, my friend called to say her mom expired, and being the not-knowing-what-to-do-in-the-situation person, was quiet for a few seconds…and then asked the dumbest question “When?” followed by “I am very sorry to hear….”. She says she will let me know when the funeral is..and I’m like “yes, please let me know”
Gawd!! I feel so helpless in such situations. Not once, twice but at least 5 or 6 times now, My grandmom, uncle, aunt, my opposite door neighbor, my ex girlfriends uncle…etc. Dad says I need to be more in touch with reality and the statements I dish out (ex. People have to die someday or the other, look at our country’s population) will not do…that’s not the worst part, having attended close to a dozen funerals or even more maybe is that I can’t shed one tear, no matter who it is. Of late even onions don’t seem to get the job done. So yes! 🙁
I am thankful to GOD that he has so far kept alive and close to me all the people I love and cherish the most from my parents to my relatives and friends, and I have really not experienced what it is to lose a close one. Hope I never do…and that is why I guess I act the way I do…