…I have changed!

So, all this time I’ve been telling myself “I’m the same, I’ve not changed one bit” but in reality I have. I am no longer the same person..my friends kept telling me that – but NO, I kept telling them I haven’t.

I had this really long conversation with one of my best friends 2 nights ago… a good hour and a half on phone, and then suddenly in mid conversation I asked her.. Do you think I’ve changed?  She said, “Sav…it’s been 5 years now, but I’ve got kinda used to the new you, it’s like this new 5.0 updated version of you” …. and I’m like I didn’t mean to change..or rather I didn’t want to change, at least not for you 🙁

I guess now, I can blame it on the fact that I’ve not been in Goa and working outside the state kinda sucks and alters personality. You meet different kinds of people and somehow unknowingly their annoying habits get to you and you change. But have I changed that much?

If I have to put it in computer terms, the hardware is the same, its just that the software has been upgraded and now there is conflict between the old hardware and new software and some programs do not work correctly. – Yes! that’s it!

I want to go back being the old me…not the old old me…but at least 10/12 years back when life was good, I was good and things were so much simpler. I don’t know what the hell I’ve been doing but its like a whole lot has gone through and I’ve not taken the time to notice the smaller things.

I want to downgrade to Savio version 2.0, is that possible?

I have never heard my own voice on phone, but I did recently when I sent a voice message on WhatAapp to a friend of mine…and on hearing my own voice, it sounded so serious. I questioned myself “what happened to the voice modulation and intonation I teach my students about?” My voice was flat to the T with no trace of emotion to it.

I need to practice what I preach..rather teach!

I’m going through an Identity Crisis! 

I miss the old me while I’m trying to adjust to the new me

3 Replies to “…I have changed!”

  1. Much as I would like to be saying the opposite, I think we both know for a fact that you can’t change back to what you were. And the reality is that you must’ve changed, it was always inevitable. We all change, for better or for worse. The people who are with you every single day, all the way, might fail to notice it (and you won’t notice for the same reason) but those meeting or talking to you after a longish time would get the feeling.
    Change is the only permanent thing. So enjoy it. Don’t bother with its existence.

    1. Along with change..Death too is permanent, however that too comes without notice…

      1. Aye, aye! That is the only indisputably reality of this life!

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