The Malayalee Stretch

stretch-logo-blackWhoever said only elastic stretches.. hasn’t been to Kerala. In this state of India, ‘people’s names’ are stretched. It is not like a few extraaaaaaa vowels will really make a difference.

Let’s take the word ‘Chalakudy’. Chalakudy is a municipal town in Thrissur district, in Kerala. Now for an average person like you or me.. we’d pronounce it cha la ku dee with obvious no stretch right. But NO – mallus would go ahead and say chaaa laaa k u di (notice the stretch?)

Let’s take a person’s name ‘Matthew’, its a no-brainer on how to pronounce this name, but for a mallu, its different. Matthew of Goa is now called m AAEEE th ew in Kerala (see? so easily done!)

Another one… ‘Ernakulam’, that’s a name of a place in Kerala… its pronounced as Er na ku la m in normal English language, but only a mallu travels to ERR nAAA ku LAM.

I could go one.. u see. But you get the point. So the next time you check into a hotel in Kerala, make sure they do not add the ‘extra vowel’ to your name in the register. You could find yourself waiting a few extra seconds before they finish writing your name, or maybe have a cuppa chai and by the time you return they’d be done.

I have coined the word most suitable for the malayalees, and for those wanting to visit the state.. you need to ask yourself a question:

“Are you ready for the malayalee stretch”?stretch-logo-black

One Reply to “The Malayalee Stretch”

  1. Uffffff…. Ur Mallluu Obsessionnn is stretched. (Noticed the stretch? :P)

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