“what is mine is yours” /or/ “what is mine is mine, what is yours is yours”
A Marriage decision to take – A communion or a separation? of assets
In a world where people are absolutely crazy about things they own (possessions) owned, presently own and will own… the union of two people in the future, raises the fundamental query – is it just a union of people or people + their assets?
…and to think that finding the right partner is the difficult part. Phew! The big ‘M’ is a big deal after all – isn’t it?
Now, why am I talking about marriage out of no where? And how has this topic suddenly caught my fancy? …NO I am not getting married any soon (sorry to disappoint) nor am I remotely close to have found ‘the woman’. I had a talk with a friend related to the subject and it intrigued me to know more… I never knew marriage was such an interesting topic. Besides the obvious interesting things people do after they’re married, I knew nothing much else. I know what you must be thinking
‘what is he? like 12?’
Its not my specialized subject. If you make some grammatical mistake in your wedding vows – now with that I can help. Besides, its a topic people talk about when they’re planning their marriage. After I got home, I had so many questions in my mind, I just had to do something to find my answers – as always, Google was there. I read up on quite a bit.. some of which I understood, most of which I didn’t understand.
I thought that marriage was all about Love, a union of two beating hearts for each other, the perfect wedding album, kids and the happy ever after.. and yeah that’s it… but apparently there’s a whole lot more to this… thing.
What happened to those times when the boy confessed to the girl (making commitments n all) ~ ‘what is mine is yours’~ did you actually think at that time what that sentence really meant? in the context of marriage?
Things in India are a little different when it comes to marriage laws in comparison to that of the West. Where do I start? I guess a Pre-nuptial Agreement would be a good place to start.
Though in India, people do not normally do a pre-nup, considering that we boast of a rich culture and the love & warmth people share with each other.. unlike western countries where marriage is taken to be a contract between husband and wife, in India marriage is considered as a religious alliance of a man and a woman for life.
What is a Pre-Nup Agreement then? It is basically an agreement in writing between the concerned 2 parties which states that in the event of death/divorce or separation what will be the monetary liability of the respective spouses. In simple words it lays out the proportion of property, assets and money each of them will get if the marriage is dissolved
– sourced from Google
Things get a little different in the little state of Goa in comparison to the rest of the country (having being governed by the Portuguese law) [a system called Communion of Assets], that states his spouse gets half of the undivided right in each other’s assets. Of course the option is always there to go in for a system of Separation of assets) at the pre-nup agreement.
Now my question is – what are people marrying for? Love? Property? Or a combination of both? While a Pre-nup puts down clearly on paper what a couple is looking for in their marriage in case of eventualities, it is still very much of a social stigma in a country like India, creating a negative impression in the minds of people as they think that the couple has already thought that their marriage won’t go the distance and hence are taking appropriate measures to minimize the damage. It may also create soreness in the marital relationship of husband and wife – especially if one side insists for it, [not that it is any better if both agree to it, its as good as entering a union with visible cracks in the relationship] as we Indians consider marriage to be above every materialistic aspect of life. But with time, thinking changes and pre-nups have become a common practice. God bless these marriages!
What is marriage then all about? For someone who is single, when you hear and read things like this, it makes more and more sense to remain single. Doesn’t sound like something to look forward to… What do you think?