If you’ve been told…

  • We need to find it..
  • fall in it..
  • ..and look for it in that one “Special” Person

Let me tell you that it is all a set of perfect lies

The

above

three lines

are nothing but bull.

This whole IDEA of falling IN and OUT of love is a delusional one. It isn’t something you can FALL into (whoever came out with that phrase ‘Falling in Love’ needs a rap up their back side)

Love is a State of Being – Either YOU ARE IT or YOU ARE NOT IT.

The idea that people have of falling in and out of love is nothing but one’s craving for a particular moment, a desire you wish to fulfill ..and of course desire comes no where close to love

You can’t desire somebody and say that you’re in Love – at least that’s what my brain of un-chartered knowledge of love tells me.

It is a GIVE and TAKE ..

  • Your Action.. Their Action
  • You do this.. they do that

and when that does not happen, can we call it love? naaaahhhh, that’s a transaction!

A lot of people depend on their partners for a sense of belonging, validation and approval and a whole lot of other things, and when they don’t deliver on the way we want them too – where’s the love then? Isn’t that dependency?

When the moment comes of when you “truly” fall in love (as young people call it nowadays) hearts beating for each other and all that jazz, we go about that person seeking his/her love to complete us, fulfill our un-met desires, because after-all we are in love right? Or are we really? Maybe we think we possess them and we mistake that for love?

Until now, we don’t even know what Love is – Do we? We just have ideas of what love may be. It could be when: love-349631_960_720.png

  1. you don’t own the other or seek a kind of control over them in any way and let them be
  2. you realize your partner isn’t there to meet up to your expectations
  3. there need not be a condition/purpose/excuse to do something
  4. you can be yourself, accept for who it is you are in another person’s presence
  5. the inside matters more than the outside

Of course until you find it all (in someone you will spend the rest of your life with) everything else are imitations of the real deal. The ultimate search of love doesn’t begin when you find ‘The One’ but if you realize, it it something that has always been within you …. all along

So while I still stick to the concept of falling IN and OUT of love is delusional, I do however think the more important thing is for two people to be ‘equally yoked’ – whether the decision of being in a relationship ultimate leads to marriage or not

11 Replies to “If you’ve been told…”

  1. Hello! I know I am back after a very very long time and I am extremely sorry for the same. This article though is interesting and it made me really think. What you are saying is correct and perhaps we call the process, falling in love for lack of a better word but yeah desire is not love. But that tempts me to ask you another question, can you love someone and not want to be together? Rather I have been thinking about it for a long time now.

    1. Welcome back Ramyani, indeed it is good to have you back 🙂
      To answer your question – No, it isn’t possible. Why love in the first place itself, be friends. “Love” comes with the baggage and if you aren’t ready to take it on – simply don’t get into it. There’s a term for that I suppose ‘Platonic Love’?

      1. Yaay 😁
        I don’t agree with your completely but I agree with the concept of Platonic love. I think compatibility plays a great role in deciding the person you end up with.

        1. It does I suppose to an extent, Ramyani. The question to ask ourselves is: Do we really know ourselves well enough to make a compatibility match with someone else? We have an idea..but that really isn’t enough-is it? A few rights, a few wrongs n the adjustment factor – it works 😁

          1. Yeah that’s right. I think we are not really ready for a relationship until we love and accept our ownselves.

          2. theextraaamile says:

            Smart Ramyani😁👍

  2. Frankly speaking, the term ‘love’ is a suffocating factor. One tends to be possessed and obsessed about their lover. They need to keep up with each other’s drama and tantrums. A different level of acting.

    1. I have seen the ‘levels of acting’ as you said…from close quarters. What cannot be understood is, if there’s love..and a genuine one at that-why show it off? Some kind of society pressure?

      1. Yes they are proving to others and to themselves to an extent that they are lovers and are committed while many of them might be just faking it and might want to get out of the relationship.

  3. Hey Savio,
    I believe Love is not just one moment, it is a series of continuous effort.
    We need to understand our partners are not perfect and nor are we.
    I believe it’s the same kind of love we have for our family and friends. We don’t pretend to be something different in front of our siblings or parents. It should be the same with our partners. That’s only called love I guess😊

    1. theextraaamile says: Reply

      Thank you for your valuable inputs, Shweta. It is appreciated 🙂 Nice to have a comment from you too

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