..until death do us part

“I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.”

wedding-rings1

The above lines are said as marriage vows in front of friends, family and well wishers in a church before the priest & God.

Let’s concentrate on the last 5 words of those lines for a moment:

…until death do us part”

Unless these last 5 words now have a different meaning, I don’t see any reason why marriages are falling apart and that too within the first 5-10 years of married life.

Aren’t all the checks supposed to be done before entering into the sacrament?

What I mean by checks is – In today’s day and age, if you’re getting married, there is most probably a checklist that you will be having and as per that checklist, all the boxes are expected to get ticked. Let’s see a few of those items on the checklist..

~ Bank balance

~ Moderate/Big House

~ un-interfering in-laws (or out-laws)

~ a servant/maid to do the house work

~ a couple of cars and bikes

~ no mistresses or stalker girlfriends hopefully

and of course he should LOVE, Pamper and treat me like a Queen (no harm in thinking)

This is how the mind of a modern woman works – at least for most of them. If a marriage is based on this kind of a foundation-YOU of all people should know, this isn’t even remotely what you can call a marriage.

I currently know of 4 couples, all friends of mine going through various stages of post-marriage-breakup (if I can call it that) ranging from within 2 years to 10 years for various different reasons. Talk of the lavish wedding receptions each one of them has had and the good amount of money thrown on one BIG PARTY, to be at the stage they are at NOW.

Have marriages come down to a checklist? or simply a platform to know how it feels to be married? No one seems to be serious. Marriage has become a casual affair.

Don’t people marry for Love anymore? 

It isn’t about “I want to get married” BUT “Am I ready to get married?”

The average lifespan of marriage has definitely come down from what it was. where a 50-60 years was normal in the 70’s and 80’s in comparison to today, where we should be surprised if a couple even touch 25 years together. 50 years seems like a distant dream, of course there would always be that odd couple who dream of growing old together.

Marry for Love and not just for companionship & make your house a HOME and not a convenience store. 

…and while I enjoy writing fictional stories on love & marriage, there are people out there actually getting married for real. While you get married only once in your life, make sure you at least make it worthwhile. 

By all means…Marry!

By all means…marry! If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy, if you get a bad one you’ll become a philosopher. I believe Socrates said this right!?
In this scenario…
I guess a teacher would be ideal..for one, she doesn’t venture too much off the subject (‘U’) she knows the system and works best in quiet surroundings. Can you ask for anything more?

Sure, there are many more options out there..but it’s not really our choice! Is it!! …with some we click with others we don’t.
For those already bound in holy matrimony may share their experiences 😉 for the rest of us..let’s discuss further

Happy Sunday people!!

The Wedding night

Its one thing imagining different scenarios when it comes to having sex, but being right there with your wife, on your wedding night and you’re expected to have all the action, the pressure was building up slowly. Mario wasn’t nervous but he wasn’t all that relaxed either. Patricia was sitting on the bed while Mario found himself sitting on the sofa removing his socks and shoes.

“mind helping me pull down the zipper, I can’t reach behind”

Mario, now her husband helped her come out of her wedding dress which by no means was an easy task.

“that dress must be very heavy on you and you wore it all day today”

“that’s why it feels so good to get out of it” she replied, as he watched her walk towards the bathroom for her long awaited shower.

The more time she spent in the bathroom, the more time it gave him to think about ‘what comes next’. Not that he didn’t know, they had talked about it and she’d said that she wouldn’t mind doing it on the first night. He put his hand into his bag and took out a brand new underwear for the night, not that he was going to use it much. She would still see it. He chose a blue color, that was her favorite color.

It was already 1.15 in the morning by the time Mario had his shower while she was lying down on the bed waiting for him.

“are you gonna wear long pants to sleep?” she asked

He smiled, walked towards the light switch to turn the lights off, undid his pants and got under the sheets.

Not married as yet!?

“she’s not married till now? something must be definitely wrong”

If you think girls are more at the receiving end of these kinds of such gossip, well men are not too far away from such ideal talk, they are equally made targets of cheap talk.
There are equal no of girls and boys who are of marriageable age and still not married.. what’s the deal?

Are they just not interested?
Are they unable to find a suitable partner?
Is age a factor?
Is work/job/salary/status a factor?
Are they waiting for the right time? If so, is there ever a right time?

Talking about myself, I am well into my mid-30’s, single, unmarried..neither a steady past relationship I can boast of nor a current or future one I can think about. All I can talk about is my work, my friends and my family.

God dammit! Some people don’t even have that!

It’s true, 80-85% of my friends are married, many having children of their own..settled in some country of the world.
I wanna ask a question here; Still-Single-576x576.jpg
(a) Being married, is that all to life?
(b) Does it guarantee you happiness?
(c) Are we living our lives as per other people’s views and opinions?

I have seen people absolutely mess up their life after marriage, total DISASTER!

Marriage is a union of two persons. While some people are called to the sacrament of marriage early, others take much longer. It may eventually happen or never happen. It’s all God’s plan..he knows what is best for us, doesn’t he?

Just because some people aren’t married according to the rules of the society (certain age.. etc) does not make them any less important. We love ourselves too much to self destruct, with the wrong person, wrong time or under the wrong circumstances.

WHAT’S THE RUSH? – Part II

Taking it Step-by-Step

“Wow! That happened all quick..my best friend is married, I signed as a witness for the very first time..tho’ I would have preferred to have signed for my own marriage first…”

“It’s never too late, your girlfriend’s right here (pointing to Victoria), you are in the Registrar of Marriages office..all it takes is two signatures and 2 witnesses, we’ll be more than happy to do it”

“does sound an exciting prospect” commented Victoria

“Calm down everybody! let all this marriage euphoria settle down, no more marriages happening today right!”

“yeah! my eggs are not gonna wait for you forever you know” retorted Victoria. To get him to propose to me, it took him 3 years, God alone knows how much longer I’ll have to wait to get my eggs fertilized by him. You know they say the fastest swimming sperm can reach a female’s eggs in about half an hour while others could take a couple of days to get there. With Jules, it might take much longer than normal”

Sperm_Count_vs_Sperm_Motility

[I didn’t know that” Patrick whispered in Nancy’s ears. I’ve always been a fast swimmer]

[..not you baby, he said the sperm..and let’s go step by step here.. okay baby]

“now where did your eggs come into the picture and it was 2 years and 8 months for the record”

“like that made a difference”

“guys, stop arguing!! In the 5 years you’ll have been together…”

“7 years and 8 months” correcting Patrick

“yes 7 years and something… now I forgot what I was to say…
Btw is anyone hungry?” I was so excited this morning that all  I drank were two glasses of water and left the house”

“I’m starved too…”

At the Hotel

Giving the order to the waiter; 4 cups of tea, 2 Dosa’s for us

“Victoria, what will you have?”

“I’ll have a single cutlet”

“..and you bro”

“I’ll have an egg with toast”

Waiter: “How would you like your egg Sir?”

looking at Victoria “how would I like it dear?” smiling

“fertilized, if all I care” she mumbles

“I’ll have it FRIED, Thank You” 🙂

Untitled

 

What’s the Rush? – Part I

9.05am
“Dude, I’m getting married” Patrick sounded excited on the phone

“huh!?” call me in an hour, I’m still sleeping”

(looking at the clock) ..patrick and his morning jokes

“What did he say?” Nancy asked

“He’s sleeping as usual.. give him 5 minutes he’ll call back”

9.10am
“hey! you’re getting what?”

“I knew you’d call, I would like you to be a witness”

“wait! where are you? you’re getting married? who? how? when?”

“Nancy D’Souza and in another half an hour”

“Nancy, who the bullet rider Nancy..? I didn’t know you’ll were going out, I’m so happy for you guys..but wait..”

“thanks and we’re at the Registrar of Marriages office”

“I’ll be there, don’t do anything..I’m coming”

9.55am
(getting into the lift, calling patrick)
(Patrick picks the call after 4 rings) “dude, which floor?..which floor?”

“Where are you? Our number is next and it’s on the 4th floor”

(looking around the office walks towards Patrick) Congratulations man.. Nancy. Where’s aunty & uncle?

“Victoria.. what are you doing here?”

“I’m a witness”

“We wanted our best friends to be witness to our love” (indulging in a lip kiss with Nancy)
“Oh pls! get a room, no PDA here okay”

Patrick Fernandes & Nancy D’Souza, the names were called out

“that’s us guys, let’s go”

By 11am it was all DONE.

Mr & Mrs Patrick Fernandes..Marriage Registered.

MC

 

The 90’s style-falling in LOVE

Ido-do

What happened to the good old style of.. boy looks at girl..girl looks at boy
..girl smiles
..boy musters up the courage to say a ‘hi’
..girl is shy and continues to smile
a friendship begins to develop
..a few laughs, late night calling
..making stupid reasons to hang out together
..they fall in love eventually

..and get married

Now this is how it should be but where do u get to see this nowadays? I know it sounds straight out a bollywood script but if we think about it, its so much more fun. I agree people don’t have the time
nowadays and life has become hectic for everybody and everyone is in a hurry to find his/her partner, bed her, marry her, (not sure if that is the order..who am I to judge) have sex, make babies and
hence the start of a family..where’s the romance but for the once-a-year Valentines Day where couples are all mushy and all.

(I)Its a common trend these days that you have these conferences for single people to meet, you have a choice from a lot of girls/boys all gathered in one big hall..introductions, games, you talk a little
basically an interview kinda and you make the appropriate ticks in your mind..we all have points that we search for in our partner, yes we do.

For example ‘Girl looking for a partner’
Physique [tick]
Job [double tick] 🙂
Language [ok] will train him
Dressing style [ok] will make him change
Overall [tick tick tick] …[MATCH FOUND]

‘Boy looking for a partner’
Body [nice, good boobs]
Job [doesn’t matter, should look good]
Language [educated is enough]
Dressing style [tick] she’s hot!! [double tick]
Overall [I AM IN LOVE – MATCH FOUND]

How boring!! I mean seriously..has finding your partner for life come down to this..an interview? a few ticks? and that’s it?

(II) Match Makers..is that even a job? Women roaming with photographs of brides and grooms in the marriage market. How cheap could people get..going to a match maker? A classmate of mine, her
mother is a match maker, she does this as a full time job. Her charges are 10,000/- .. just to introduce the boy to the girl and vice versa..? and that’s from one party, 20,000/- and that’s a match. Phew!!
What if the couple gets divorced in a year? Any refunds…?

Im not into these ways of finding my wife..even if I have to wait a bit longer, I will.
For me marriage is a 3 way party – GOD, myself and my life-partner, so till he sends me HIS chosen one for me, I’ll be waiting!

Let your love story be a good one, your children would want to hear an interesting story on how their parents met..fell in love and got married 🙂