..until death do us part

“I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.”

wedding-rings1

The above lines are said as marriage vows in front of friends, family and well wishers in a church before the priest & God.

Let’s concentrate on the last 5 words of those lines for a moment:

…until death do us part”

Unless these last 5 words now have a different meaning, I don’t see any reason why marriages are falling apart and that too within the first 5-10 years of married life.

Aren’t all the checks supposed to be done before entering into the sacrament?

What I mean by checks is – In today’s day and age, if you’re getting married, there is most probably a checklist that you will be having and as per that checklist, all the boxes are expected to get ticked. Let’s see a few of those items on the checklist..

~ Bank balance

~ Moderate/Big House

~ un-interfering in-laws (or out-laws)

~ a servant/maid to do the house work

~ a couple of cars and bikes

~ no mistresses or stalker girlfriends hopefully

and of course he should LOVE, Pamper and treat me like a Queen (no harm in thinking)

This is how the mind of a modern woman works – at least for most of them. If a marriage is based on this kind of a foundation-YOU of all people should know, this isn’t even remotely what you can call a marriage.

I currently know of 4 couples, all friends of mine going through various stages of post-marriage-breakup (if I can call it that) ranging from within 2 years to 10 years for various different reasons. Talk of the lavish wedding receptions each one of them has had and the good amount of money thrown on one BIG PARTY, to be at the stage they are at NOW.

Have marriages come down to a checklist? or simply a platform to know how it feels to be married? No one seems to be serious. Marriage has become a casual affair.

Don’t people marry for Love anymore? 

It isn’t about “I want to get married” BUT “Am I ready to get married?”

The average lifespan of marriage has definitely come down from what it was. where a 50-60 years was normal in the 70’s and 80’s in comparison to today, where we should be surprised if a couple even touch 25 years together. 50 years seems like a distant dream, of course there would always be that odd couple who dream of growing old together.

Marry for Love and not just for companionship & make your house a HOME and not a convenience store. 

…and while I enjoy writing fictional stories on love & marriage, there are people out there actually getting married for real. While you get married only once in your life, make sure you at least make it worthwhile. 

Romance is dead

To quote google, Romance “is a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love”

…but unfortunately over the years, the word Romance has taken a whole different meaning to young couples. People are more in the feeling-each-other mode nowadays. So, where is the mystery left in love? Nobody is interested in knowing about their significant other, it’s all about getting to know their answer to “are we sexually compatible”? Let’s take it from there…

Discovering each other before marriage is what ‘youngsters’ claim as romance. We all know how women get turned on by touch…and guys know just the right buttons, an art seemed to have been mastered over time. I don’t know where they learn it from but they seem to know all the right moves…and some girls actually enjoy it. One things leads to another and no sooner you’re baring everything to somebody you barely even know.

Is this Romance? Shedding clothes and getting physical with a total stranger?

I’ve been told by people, how would we know if we are compatible with each other if we didn’t do it before marriage? It’s as if SEX is the end-all to being in a relationship with another person.
What happened to the old-age technique of holding hands? Going for a walk in the park/at the beach and have actual conversations? I’m sure girls/women still dig candle-lit dinners, being gifted roses, a simple ‘good morning, I Love You’ text msg…no wait, its WhatsApp now!

I may be romantically challenged… (or at least I think I am, being single over a long period makes you think you are!) but romance to me is probably going out of my way to make an ordinary day extraordinary for ‘her’ simply because I want to.  I want to have the butterfly feeling when I am with her

Call me old school…but its the small things that make all the difference, the big, more exciting stuff can wait! Let’s leave something for later…considering we have a long way to go!

Now this is more like it <3  

the one last time…

She poured out her heart to me..and as always I was there for her…she said she needed to talk, and we talked..a lot. We met at our favorite joint ‘Soft Cushions’, a little away from the hustle bustle of the city. She always liked the corner sofa for its extra soft cushions and the fact that they had dim lighting made it her favorite spot!

“see you in an hour at Cushions”

“this must be a really long talk, the sofa at the corner?” I asked

“yup as always” 🙂

“but…those cushions are like really soft, I kinda go right in..I’ll be there”

He was already there when I was parking my bike. Being regulars at “Cushions” the waiters knew our orders by heart. As we passed the food counter, the waiter asked

“Will it be the usual Ma’am?”

“Yes that and a lot of privacy” I smiled as we walked to our favorite corner

There was something distinctly different in Riya’s behavior, I couldn’t point on anything in particular that made her smile more. When I asked her what was special today? She replied saying that she was always happy when we spent time together. I told her that she was the bestest friend that anyone could have and that I was lucky to have her in my life. It was true, we did share liked this PERFECT friendship. We spoke about the good times we shared, when we first met in college and found ourselves sitting next to each other on the same bench, how we became friends to good friends and the fact that till this day we were best friends and shared all our deepest secrets with each other.

The Next Morning – 9.30am

Sitting on the bed, holding the card in my left hand, attached to it is a note. It read:

hi baby!

good morning! A glass of your favorite cold coffee is in the fridge, there is more in the container next to it.. I know you always like it cold.

Thank you for the wonderful time we spent together since last evening, it was very special, it meant a lot to me. What you’re holding in your other hand is my wedding invitation card. Yes, I am getting married in 2 days. By the time you read this, I’ll be on a flight to New York. All I wanted is a fitting end to a beautiful relationship we shared, I have always loved you but guess you only saw me as your best friend.

Remember you asked me “what was special today” I came with the intention of telling you my true feelings for you but when you said I was the bestest friend that anyone could have and that you were lucky to have me in your life, I understood you’ll never see me more than, ‘as a best friend’

“What is the meaning of this?” …as I recollected all of the previous evening’s events.

I get on to my phone to send her a message on whats app, scrolling up and down the contact list…how did her number disappear?

Trying to remember the number;

What was her number again?? 9 0 4 6 1 5…. 2? damn it!!